Sunday, June 22


It is raining outside, thunder bolts decorate the sky for mere seconds. Ever changing as the time goes by. Yet the constant sound of rain seems to be the metronome to it all. At the same time it is warm, not uncomfortably so, but bareable. It all feels like a normal summers night. But the only difference is that it is not. It is a winters night in Durban.

So, going through today I realised that what I need is to enjoy summer! I use to get depressed because there is no frost on the grass in the mornings, and no freezing your butt off in the afternoons. But seeing I need to stay positive, I desided to become creative and forge winter into summer for me here. It is a perfect day, I keep on hoping and I have stopped worrying.

Friday, June 20

Thursday, June 19

Innocent as a Child

I wish I could go back to the innocent child I once was. This world has consumed me in so many ways, causing me to do things I regret.

I use to go to school, and every afternoon when going home I walked down my street, lined with trees and the air filled with the excitement of freedom. The fact that I could go and do whatever my heart wishes for was all the excitement I needed. When reaching home on a summers day afternoon I would day dream to hearts content. Staring at the clouds, listening to the hustle of the birds in the back garden. I would play with the dog, chasing it, it chasing me and discovering a whole new realm of freedom every day. Lying on my back, out of breath and staring at the clouds as they turn to pastel shades of pink. The night would come softly and relieving the days heat bringing with it the creatures of the night. Moths, bats, crickets and night flies. All glorifying the wonder of life. Even during winter I would find myself starring out the window, wondering where it all goes. Yet when spring comes and I watch the bulbous plants shooting out of the ground ready to flower, an excitement fills me. It makes me wonder what the year to come will hold in. And somewhat makes me hesitate for a moment, but then I get consumed in the awe off the time and find myself looking at the autumn leaves again.

Lately I have been missing that feeling. My life has become somewhat less structured and tends to lose itself all the time. I have seen beautiful things and found myself in life changing situations. Moving me so that I can feel my heart beating heavier than normal by the mere thought of it. And my eyes seem to become hazy and filled with questions. Losing people you loved, and finding them to be missing from your life. Silence and patience, all of these moments I could never replace. On and on my heart wonders. Wishing it could go home. Yet I do not have no home here. I might feel surrounded by beauty and tell myself that there is comfort in the vanity of life. Yet every time I make mistakes that compromise the mere being of myself in such a way that I drive myself to madness. But the only comfort I find is in the sanctuary of my beliefs.

So I came to realize today that each one of us are different. If I could describe it I would put it this way. We are all going about doing our own thing, yet we need the people around us. They act as a platform on witch each one of us build. Some might come to stand in our way, others might not even care. And then there are people whom we become friends with, and others enemies. These people are the black and white in life, but then there is the gray patch. Somehow I find that this gray patch drives me to either white, or black. Yet no one is ever white nor black. We are all different shades of gray. As we go through stages in our lives we tend to vary in intensity and saturation. Sometimes becoming to involved in certain matters, causing us to burn our fingers and regret. Then sometimes we just don’t get involved, and find ourselves losing the joy of being alive. Imagine living every day the same. Doing the same things, seeing the same people, having the same conversations. And on, and on I can go. Yes, sometimes it does feel that way. I have felt that way, yet I would like to add that it is only thanks to our own vanity and indulgencies. A good friend gave me advice and said always think more of others than oneself. Then think of yourself. So, I could add it is not always easy putting others first. Maybe it is something we should all try. Not to abandon oneself, but to think of others and find your place in this world. Moving and advancing to further improve yourself in this way. Thus we could all live in harmony.

So I could say, I wish I could go back to the innocent child I once was. This world has consumed me in so many ways, causing me to do things I regret. Yet, during this process I have grown to become a stronger person, although weakened by the cruel ways of mankind. I find myself being able to withstand its tremors and not fear the storms. Believing in what I know to be true and just. Finding a way where there seems to be none. I can only look forward to find that I can overcome the impossibilities so many a day presents itself with to me.

Saturday, June 14

BMW Gina Concept

Monday, June 9

Setting Moon

This was taken very early (to me at least) in the morning from the roof where I stay.

Saturday, June 7

High Five!

I would love to have a statue like this one in my front garden! I think it is just great! Lol! Love it!

Friday, June 6

Abstract Colourscapes

These two art pieces are my latest creations.

Wednesday, June 4

4 / 06 / 2008

I was sick for the past few days. There is a stomach bugg in the air and it caught on to me. From last week Friday until today I was sick as a dog. I won`t go into detail. . . for good reasons! But all I would say is that I felt like I was dying!

So, the story goes, I had pills etc, but that didn`t stop it right away. I only started to recover yesterday, and today was my first day up out of bed. I do not want to experience that again! ! ! I don`t even wish my enemies that!

Somehow, I feel my system has also detoxed itself in the process of eliminating the bacterium. So, I had been spring cleaning the whole afternoon! Thus eliminating the crap in my living space! And it feels so much better!

Thus, this has brought me to the conclusion that I am going to make a fresh start from today onwards! I want to be who I know I can be, I don`t want to be bound by the rules and forces of this world, but instead become someone greater than the ordinary. Yes we all have this dream you could say, but I know and have the faith do go and do something about it. So, I will keep you updated as to what is happening in my life.

The first good step I have taken is that I am taking lessons for my violin again. I haven`t been working on my playing for a few years, yes I played, but I didn`t do anything to advance further and become better. My teacher wants me to play for the Kwazulu Natal Philharmonic Orchestra latter on this year! It is all very exciting, and I would love that! When I have my first concert I will send anyone who wants, a ticket! :) I need to practice a lot now, so I hope my neighbours don`t complain to much! Lol!

Cheers for now!